Homecoming

Note: I wrote this article over two months ago and never got around to posting it.  I felt it was long overdue and necessary to post, even if just for myself.  I'll have one more follow up to post in the coming days as well.

Days 213 – 244

It’s hard to believe that 244 days have come and gone since I left for the Dominican Republic in January.  Even though I leave Barahona tomorrow morning, I simply cannot find the time to finish packing my bags.  It seems to me that once I finish packing my bags and collecting my belongings, it’s one step closer to moving on.  It’s hard to clearly state my feelings – I do believe I am ready to return home and am eager to see my family and friends but also have a pang of pain leaving the people here.  

It’s funny how quickly time passes, especially when you’re trying to utilize every passing second.  That’s the realization I felt during my last couple weeks in Barahona.  As eager as I had been to get home and see my family and friends, it was very hard to part from the life I had grown accustomed to for the past eight months.  

September felt like an odd month then whole time, knowing it would be my last month.  Times would pass when I would think of people I had met here – and realize I may not get the chance to say goodbye or see them ever again.  Since it’s an unknown, it’s hard to fathom the latter and wrap your mind around it.  Not only that, but how am I supposed to say goodbye to some people when I knew I still had time left in the country?  I began to realize it was partly my acceptance with the fact I was leaving as much as it was for my acquaintances.  What I mean to say is that it was very difficult for me to pick up and leave so quickly.

As a volunteer, work still went on around me, only I now had to decline a few projects here and there because of time.  It was an odd feeling going from accepting every odd job to evaluating the tasks to determine which I actually had time for.  It didn’t feel right, but just as my thesis adviser said, there comes a point when you have to stop taking on new work and finish what you’ve started.  That’s what I knew I had to do – finish what I started.  The only problem was part of me didn’t want to finish.  After all, this was different from leaving home back in January.  I knew I’d be back at home at some point in the future and could pick up where I left off.  Here, there was the doubt in my mind; the fear that I might not see some of these people ever again.  So I did the best I could with the time I had left and tried to let people know what they meant to me.  This was no easy task for me though as the goodbyes were often emotional and left me drained afterward.  In fact, during one of my last days I had planned to visit the homes of a number of families to say goodbye and had to stop after a few because I was emotionally drained after speaking with them.  

Sor Maria and I

It didn’t help that I was physically tired as well my last week in Barahona.  It just so happened that, with only one week left, I got very sick to the stomach and had to go to the hospital.  I was very low on fluids and got two IVs in the hospital, which helped immensely.  After I got back, I downed some pollo y yucca and went to bed for the rest of the day and night.  It felt good to be able to hold some food down and rest for a while.  It was in this miserable condition that I met Sor Maria, who had worked in Austin, TX for a couple years.  She had the “shoot first (or in this case, help first), ask questions later” type mentality and wasted no time helping when I was sick.  It was a shame that our time together was so short, but I still believe myself to be fortunate for having had the chance to meet her.  

With my time winding down, I feel a complete mixture of feelings: joy to see my family and sadness to have to say goodbye to so many wonderful people.  Excitement to see my friends and a bit of anxiety going back to the culture I grew up in with a fresh set of eyes.  

 
 

Certain questions bounce around in my head: Have I changed? (I believe I have, but for the better?  Has anything back home changed?  Will I find it hard to adjust back to life in the US with all the amenities and commodities?  What will I take with me from this trip?  Will I be missed?  How can I stay in contact with everyone there?  Will Barahona be the same when I return?  The questioning wears me out, I need not find all the answers just yet and I know they will be revealed to me in time.  

In closing, I wish to thank everyone for my time here – too many names to list, but each one has helped shape my story.  This shared experience has opened my eyes and helped me grow in so many different ways.  While this is the end of my mission in Barahona, I will always be there because of the wonderful people who have given me so much joy and so many memories to keep in my heart.  Gracias por todo.