Recap Part 6: 57th UN Commission for the Status of Women

The United Nations (UN) has been a promoter for actions to end violence against women and girls for many years. However, despite the fact that almost all member states of the UN have developed legislation that supports this issue, there is a general lack of enforcement and political will in many countries which results in many women and girls still suffering abuse around the world. There are many reasons which contribute to this unfortunate fact, such as traditional and cultural practices that do not stand nor respect the rights of women and girls, lack of training for security forces in assisting victims of violence and enforcing legal framework,  weak justice systems, lack of prevention strategies involving men and boys, support services working isolated one from the other, and internal conflict or post-conflict reconstruction.

At the Italian Embassy overlooking the Hudson Bay

VIDES and the Institute of Maria Auxiliadora, both of which are International NGOs with UN consultative status, are working together to combat this issue. At the 57^th United Nations Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) in New York, I had the opportunity to help the Sisters from India make a contribution to the conversations at the UN with a presentation about an orphanage and rehabilitation home in Bangalore for children survivors of violence that has been established by the Sisters. One Sister spoke about their current efforts to partner with police and community members to strengthen the judicial processes in processing children and juvenile cases.  This is important as many street children are detained for long hours while police figure out a proper place for them to go.  Through their work, they have been able to shelter orphans and educate the police on proper treatment of children and juveniles after they are taken in off the streets.  Not only that, but many children have been offered a second chance through their efforts. 

To display the fruits of their labor, a second presentation was given by a young girl named Shanthi, who is 20 years old and fled from domestic violence occurring in her home at age 11 with her brothers and sisters.  Shanthi was scared, but knew that she and her siblings were in danger by staying put and not acting.  However, she did not know where to go or who to turn to.  Through a series of events, she and her siblings were taken in by the Sisters in the rehabilitation home.  When she entered, she was full of fear and uncertainty and was unwilling to participate in the community.  The Sisters understand this and showed her nothing but compassion and explained to her that their home is an area where she could finish her studies, participate in youth activities, and realize that her dignity cannot be stripped away by those who wish to do her harm.  Little by little, Shanthi not only opened up and began to heal, but was able to forgive the people who hurt her the most – namely her father.  The audience was moved and delighted with Shanthi’s inspiring story from her childhood and how it was transformed by the Sisters’ care.  After her presentation, members from the audience formed lines just to congratulate Shanthi and the Sisters for their courage and dedication. 

Shanthi, Sor Jacintha, and I at the General Council

Shanthi 

The audience was not the only group moved by Shanthi’s story.  I shared it with my family and friends after we had finished and they were amazed at what they had heard.  Many asked if they could donate money or continue to promote her story.  After asking Shanthi, who is wise beyond her years, she gave me the reply, “It is not just my story, but a story of all those who suffer injustice and intolerance.  The real ones to thank are people like the Sisters who work tirelessly for our sake.”

The opportunity to assist in such an important and delicate subject has given me awareness and strengthened my faith in our world.  It is beautiful to see different cultures (on a side note, it was the first time the Sisters and Shanthi had ever seen snow!) sharing ideas for the betterment of our world, especially giving a voice to the voiceless.  Though this story took place in India, other participants echoed the fact that it is a worldwide problem that needs to be addressed by the global community at large.  As we move towards a globalized world, local problems are no longer contained to specific regions, but are increasingly global problems.  As such, it is important to recognize that our brothers and sisters throughout the world need our help.  For me, I was able to learn good practices and methods for tackling these problems, which I hope to employ in my own community.  Even if it’s something as small as raising awareness, it’s a step in the right direction toward international solidarity.  I feel fortunate to be a VIDES volunteer because these experiences will help shape who I am for the rest of my life.  Now it is my turn to share what I have witnessed to continue to promote education and empowerment to those who suffer unnoticed in our society every day.

From left to right: Shanthi, Veronica, Sor Ramona (front), Sor Maria Luisa,
myself, Sor Glorina, Sor Jacintha

And now, I would like to share Shanthi's inspiring story with you all (you may find some grammatical errors - keep in mind that English is not just her second language, but her fourth)

“Make education possible for us.

Protect us from all forms of violence”

  I  cannot believe myself that I am here at the United  Nations  to share with you all the shadows and the lights of my life especially  after the introduction of  the International Girl Child Day . In fact I am boosted within by the fact that Girls issues are given importance at this International level.  Thank you to all those who worked for it.

 I am the eldest of six children – four boys and two girls. My parents were of inter-caste marriage, because of which they lived isolated   from all their relatives.  They both were running errands of washing the clothes.  As children we were around the house and never played or associated with other children.  I was sent to the nearby primary school with my sister.  We daily witnessed my father returning home fully drunk and he constantly fought with my mother. He used to beat my mother and all of us children.  I hated these family moments. I always thought other parents were good and loving to their children .I could not see my mother being beaten up badly in front of my eyes. I wanted to prevent it but it was not possible at all.  Late at night he used wake me and my mother, scold and beat us and used to send both of us out. He never allowed us to sleep inside the house. He used to borrow money from all and drink.  Adding to that my parents were suspicious of each other. Their cruel and violent behaviour toward each other was terrifying.

When I was in 3^rd year of Primary School, my father left the family after a severe fight and did not return for two years.  In those two years there was no fighting…. But my mother struggled to make ends meet. I wanted to help my mother but I was too small to work anywhere.   We struggled but we lived peacefully till my father’s return.

Again the old story began. And my father compelled me to stop studying and go to work with my mother. But I wanted to study at all cost. I used to go to school hiding, when my father left the house for his work. I disliked my father for he did not have any concern for me.  When I entered my secondary school, I was forced to stop my schooling to take care of the younger children. One fine day my mother left us all and went with another man, after being beaten violently by my father. I was heartbroken…. I was in despair. I also felt responsible for my younger brothers and sister. In the absence of my mother my father began to misbehave with me. He began to disturb me in the night. I used to wake up my brothers and sister and they all used to keep awake with me.  One night I felt frightened and took my brothers and sister and went to the neighbours. The next day they took us and left us in our aunt’s house. My aunt took care of us for a week, and called and advised my father. But he did not listen. She could not feed us all so left us on the street. We roamed everywhere to trace out our mother … but couldn’t. Then one of our neighbours took us to the nearby police station.  They sent us all to the Government Child welfare committee.  It was a home for begging children, runaways, missing children and children with problems. We had food and shelter but we were left to ourselves.  They were trying to settle the children in their families. I was so sure that our parents would never come in search of us.  Being girls, my sister and I were transferred to Navajeevana, a foster home run by IIMA.  

When we entered there, our life began to take another turn. I could feel the joy of being taken care of by sisters who really loved us for what we are.   I was asked to continue my studies.  Then they sent me to do my tailoring course. I completed 2nd year of Secondary school.  They also took care that I was counselled to overcome my fear, hate, depression and moodiness. I began to take part heartily in recreation, cultural activities and began to interact with others. The lessons on moral and spiritual life really helped me to reorientate my life positively.  Then I was sent to complete Home Nursing and I did a Beautician course. Today I earn a good salary; I got ready with bank pass book and birth certificate. The voter ID, Pan Card, Andhra card is on the way.  My sister is also being helped to study. 

I am waiting to complete my secondary education side by side.  As I am in a foster home, I began to love the little ones who enter there for various reasons. Somehow I feel the need to help children like us in the future…. Especially I would like to contribute to the education of the girls in difficult situations.

I would like to make a request to the parents here and all over:  “Kindly respect your Children, for they are Human beings. Try to provide a happy and healthy family. Remember that children long for your love, care and support. Touch their heart and mind not their bodies.  Never use children for your pleasure or to give vent to your violent feelings. Children are vulnerable and take care to treat them well.  Be an example to your children”.

 I am thankful to IIMA who brought new light into my life and the life of my sister. It is because of them today I can stand before you all. I would like the international communities to take real and adequate measures so that every child is able to complete their secondary education and to have a skill training to earn their living especially in countries like India.  I plead with you all today on behalf of all the children in difficult situation throughout the world.  “Make education possible for us. Protect us from all forms of violence."

Recap Part 5: Old Friends and New Acquaintances

Calen, Kim, and little Keadan - born on
Valentine's Day

My fifth phase preparing for Geneva was a 3-month opportunity to work in the VIDES Office with Sister Gloria in the Provincial House in San Antonio.  Following the Christmas holidays, I visited my best friend Calen and his fiancée, Kim, on New Year’s Eve with a planned flight from Lexington the next morning.  For me, it was a great send off to my next mission as I was both nervous and excited to work in San Antonio.  I knew that I’d get to meet a whole new group of volunteers as they prepared for their missions but I was worried about making comparisons with my orientation group.  

Nevertheless I was picked up from the airport by Sister Teresa Jones and two other volunteers: Chelsea and Rachel.  We got to know each other on the way back and I had a good feeling that the group would be unique in its own way.  The following day, two more volunteers joined us (Christy and Laura) as well as Carmen – who I had the pleasure to work with in Austin.  Together we began our formation / service camp, led by Sister Gloria.

Working with the kids of Pan-Americana Apartments

It was refreshing to be reoriented in Salesian values – especially when led by Sister Gloria, who brings an aura and charismatic presence to the room when she speaks.  Learning about the other volunteers and their faith journey was a beautiful thing as well – I find that faith sharing is integral as a Christian, knowing that we are a human family with an interlocked future makes solidarity a foundation for which to build relationships and grow as one human body.  Though the group was much different from my previous orientation group, it is nearly impossible to compare as each group is unique.  

VIDES 2011 Group

When the two week orientation ended, all the volunteers left to prepare for their missions except for Chelsea, who was to serve at St. John Bosco School across the street.  Rachel was assigned to South Africa, Laura was to go to Geneva followed by South Sudan, and Christy accepted a place in the Canary Islands.  I was fortunate to have another volunteer to serve with; though we did not work together, we ventured the city and Riverwalk many times together in an attempt to get to know as much of San Antonio as possible in the three months we had.

Sharing a good meal at a Mexican Restaurant before
departing

I came to like San Antonio very much, the city itself could be very touristy on weekends, but offered a lot of culture and a sense of community.  The Provincial House always had visiting Salesian Sisters from the US and other communities around the world, which gave me the opportunity to learn about the Salesian presence in the world.  At one point, an English translation team comprised of Sisters from India, Ireland, England, the Philippines, and Australia convened to convert text for several weeks and they became part of our community during that time.  It was enjoyable to share our culture and also hear their stories of home.  Being in a large community of teachers, spiritual leaders, and missionaries allowed me to expand my horizons more than I expected in San Antonio.

 As a previous volunteer, it has been very interesting to see an organization from the inside out, especially one as unique as VIDES USA.  Every year, many volunteers apply, are trained, and sent to a variety of different countries to serve and accompany youth. Such an undertaking must require the work of a team of people to run everything smoothly, right? The reality is that much of the weight of the program is carried on by one humble and dedicated sister: S. Gloria with S Theresa as part-time assistant (who also has a wide range of other tasks in the community). It is amazing for me that she manages all the recruiting, applications, orientation (including formation and service), finances, donations, mission placements, insurance, volunteer support, website, blog, mission projects, promotion, etc.  Life is different here, there is no doubt, but I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be - living simply and witnessing so many influential figures devote their life to service and God.

Recap part 4: Family

After leaving Rome, there was only one more stop before returning home for an extended stay.  As VIDES USA (Sister Gloria in particular) was so generous and helped with my expenses for the VIDES Conference, it was only fitting to give a little of my time to help the Sisters in San Antonio.  However, my intentions were stronger than my will.  While I was there amongst the Sisters physically, I found my mind wandering constantly from all I had experienced this past year as well as combating jet lag from the return trip to the United States.  I accomplished as much as I could, but both Sister Gloria and I realized that I needed some time to analyze my thoughts and reflect on my mission.  I was grateful to Sister Gloria for the opportunity still and knew that when I returned to San Antonio in January that I’d be in a different mindset.

Ahhh...zzzz

The return home brought a feeling of relief and joy to me, especially knowing that I’d be home until the New Year.  Not only that, but I knew that I’d be able to see my extended family in Naperville during Thanksgiving and during Christmas-time.  My family welcomed me home again and it felt nice to finally lay my head down on my old pillow in my bed.

When I first arrived home, I found myself a bit restless – which now I believe is a result of being a volunteer.  I spent my time during the day unpacking, cooking, and cleaning around the house.  However, it wasn’t stressful at all.  By unpacking, it helped give me a feeling of finalization of my mission as well as reflect on all the lessons I learned and gifts I received.  As I mentioned in a previous post, many times during mission, so much is happening simultaneously that it is nearly impossible to digest it all at once.  Going through my belongings slowly gave me the opportunity to understand the importance of such events and experiences. 

I filled my free time with cooking and exercise, which are stress-relievers for me.  As I ended up cooking most dinners in the Dominican Republic, I came to find out that I rather enjoyed cooking.  Though it does not compare to my mother’s cooking, it gave me a chance to experiment a bit and learn what works and what does not…at my family’s expense.  For the most part, the dishes turned out fine, but I also learned a few important lessons by means of my taste buds. 

This will be discussed for many Thanksgivings to come.

Our yearly visit to Naperville to celebrate Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays.  It’s a time for family, stories, laughter, good food, and relaxation.  We usually cram 40 or so people in one house to catch up with each other and share time together.  Every year, we recount many of the same stories, but they never seem to get old.  We laugh until we cry thinking about our trips to Lake Cumberland, naivety of our childhood, fun times at sports events (UofL sports usually enters into any and every conversation in one way or another as Thanksgiving falls right before bowl season and the start of basketball season), and then there’s the fabricated stories about our yearly tradition of laser tag and battle tech.  A few years back, my dad took it upon himself to brag how he dominated us last year – which no one seemed to remember except for him.  However, we responded by making sure that he would have nothing to brag about this year except for the constant barrage and tunnel of blue he would see. 

It took me many years to realize how blessed I am to have such a close and loving family, one that I look forward to each encounter with.  As I’ve grown older and heard many people complain about going to relatives’ houses – I feel a deep sorrow for them that they are not able to have the same experience.  I wish that they could be able to experience the full gift of family, which is a unique form of love that grows with time, which is why I was so insistent upon being with my family this time of year.

...ya filthy animal.

Merry Christmas!

 The rest of December was spent with family and friends as much as possible.  Rebecca and I even drove to Norfolk before Christmas to accompany Laura and Paul back to Kentucky.  Though it was a 10 hour drive, it did not feel so.  Just being with my siblings again brought me joy and peace – a Christmas blessing in itself.  

Oh yes, the blessing of family and everything that goes along with it.