Recap part 4: Family

After leaving Rome, there was only one more stop before returning home for an extended stay.  As VIDES USA (Sister Gloria in particular) was so generous and helped with my expenses for the VIDES Conference, it was only fitting to give a little of my time to help the Sisters in San Antonio.  However, my intentions were stronger than my will.  While I was there amongst the Sisters physically, I found my mind wandering constantly from all I had experienced this past year as well as combating jet lag from the return trip to the United States.  I accomplished as much as I could, but both Sister Gloria and I realized that I needed some time to analyze my thoughts and reflect on my mission.  I was grateful to Sister Gloria for the opportunity still and knew that when I returned to San Antonio in January that I’d be in a different mindset.

Ahhh...zzzz

The return home brought a feeling of relief and joy to me, especially knowing that I’d be home until the New Year.  Not only that, but I knew that I’d be able to see my extended family in Naperville during Thanksgiving and during Christmas-time.  My family welcomed me home again and it felt nice to finally lay my head down on my old pillow in my bed.

When I first arrived home, I found myself a bit restless – which now I believe is a result of being a volunteer.  I spent my time during the day unpacking, cooking, and cleaning around the house.  However, it wasn’t stressful at all.  By unpacking, it helped give me a feeling of finalization of my mission as well as reflect on all the lessons I learned and gifts I received.  As I mentioned in a previous post, many times during mission, so much is happening simultaneously that it is nearly impossible to digest it all at once.  Going through my belongings slowly gave me the opportunity to understand the importance of such events and experiences. 

I filled my free time with cooking and exercise, which are stress-relievers for me.  As I ended up cooking most dinners in the Dominican Republic, I came to find out that I rather enjoyed cooking.  Though it does not compare to my mother’s cooking, it gave me a chance to experiment a bit and learn what works and what does not…at my family’s expense.  For the most part, the dishes turned out fine, but I also learned a few important lessons by means of my taste buds. 

This will be discussed for many Thanksgivings to come.

Our yearly visit to Naperville to celebrate Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays.  It’s a time for family, stories, laughter, good food, and relaxation.  We usually cram 40 or so people in one house to catch up with each other and share time together.  Every year, we recount many of the same stories, but they never seem to get old.  We laugh until we cry thinking about our trips to Lake Cumberland, naivety of our childhood, fun times at sports events (UofL sports usually enters into any and every conversation in one way or another as Thanksgiving falls right before bowl season and the start of basketball season), and then there’s the fabricated stories about our yearly tradition of laser tag and battle tech.  A few years back, my dad took it upon himself to brag how he dominated us last year – which no one seemed to remember except for him.  However, we responded by making sure that he would have nothing to brag about this year except for the constant barrage and tunnel of blue he would see. 

It took me many years to realize how blessed I am to have such a close and loving family, one that I look forward to each encounter with.  As I’ve grown older and heard many people complain about going to relatives’ houses – I feel a deep sorrow for them that they are not able to have the same experience.  I wish that they could be able to experience the full gift of family, which is a unique form of love that grows with time, which is why I was so insistent upon being with my family this time of year.

...ya filthy animal.

Merry Christmas!

 The rest of December was spent with family and friends as much as possible.  Rebecca and I even drove to Norfolk before Christmas to accompany Laura and Paul back to Kentucky.  Though it was a 10 hour drive, it did not feel so.  Just being with my siblings again brought me joy and peace – a Christmas blessing in itself.  

Oh yes, the blessing of family and everything that goes along with it.

Recap Part 3: All Roads Lead to Rome...and Hopefully Pass through Trevi

My time at home came and went very quickly after San Francisco – as expected.  However, I had a few more days, for better or worse.  Hurricane Sandy rolled in on the East Coast and delayed our flight for 2 days.  Though it was two more days spent at home, I was eager to go to Trevi, Italy for the VIDES International Conference.

Not that kind of CIA guy, but still.

When the time came, I boarded the plane and went from Louisville to DC then to Italy.  I sat next to a man who worked with the CIA and I spent much of the flight listening to the stories he’d experienced in his 25 years of service.  He was very level-headed, and for lack of a better word, normal in the sense that he was eager to get to Italy for a vacation of his own and not have to worry about work.

Upon my arrival in Rome, I made my way to the train station, with all my bags and began the 3 hour journey to Trevi.  I had very little sleep the night before and it was catching up with me.  My eyelids felt heavy and I soon drifted off to sleep only to be woken by the ringing bell with a voice announcing the next stop: Trevi.  I hurried to gather my bags, but one must be ready to enter and exit a train.  The train took off for its next destination with me still on it and I began to panic a little.  Luckily, there was a stop 4 minutes further and I decided I’d take my chances and get off at that place.   After exiting the train, I decided that my options were to get a taxi, call Sr. Gloria, or to catch a ride back to the station.  My first plan failed when I tried calling Sr. Gloria and found that her number was not activated in Italy, so I decided to hop back on the train and hope that I don’t get checked.  Without incident, I got on the train and exited at the correct station this time…only to be confronted by a new problem.

There's Trevi.  Now how to get there.

Imagine getting off a train at a deserted platform in a rural town with only a few houses around.  On a Sunday (which means that if there should be any services offered in that town, they will not be open on Sunday).  So, I stood at a fork in the road wondering where exactly I was supposed to go.  I tried calling Sr. Gloria and the hotel, but could not reach both.  It was the late afternoon and I began to wonder what my next move was.  A car drove by and I decided to try to ask for directions.  I tried speaking both English and Spanish, but could not communicate, so instead I pulled out the directions to the hotel I had written down and pointed to denote that I did not know how to get there.  The woman pointed up the road and said, “20 minuti”.  So, without further ado, I began walking down the road with no sidewalk with my baggage and the sun setting.  As I walked, I would stop and ask people for directions to make sure I was on the right path, and each time was the same answer: “20 minuti” in the direction I was heading – down a country road with no sidewalk dragging along my baggage.

It was a beautiful area, especially after putting my luggage in my room.

Finally, after an hour or so of walking, I arrived at the hotel.  Besides being a sight for sore eyes, it was a beautiful hotel in the scenic Italian countryside.  Like a refugee, Sister Gloria took me in, gave me a warm meal, and let me catch up on some much needed rest.

The VIDES Conference and experience in Trevi itself were entertaining in a variety of ways, especially since this was my first time in Europe.  Not only that, but there were volunteers from over 40 different countries at the Conference, so even though I was in Italy, it may well have been the United Nations. 

To start, I must share a couple embarrassing stories about meals with Italians, the kings and queens of cuisine.  Besides the fact that our unlimited table wine was comparable to $20 or $30 wine in the United States, we also had 5 course meals for lunch and dinner, which I was unaware of.  So, during my first lunch we started with a salad and proceeded to the pasta course (the primo), which consisted of a simple pasta with bits of ham.  I noticed that many people at our table served themselves relatively small portions.  I followed suit at first, but finished the first plate and went for a second, assuming this was the main course.  After I finished my second plate of pasta, then came the main dishes with sides (the secondo and the contorno) chicken masala with sautéed vegetables and roasted potatoes.  I realized I had made a fatal mistake with the second plate of pasta, but knew the food was too good to pass up.  Then, of course, following the main course they served a fantastic tiramisu that I could not pass up.  Again, I must mention that this was our lunch meal (though, in many places in Europe, it is the biggest meal of the day) and I felt as though I had eaten enough for the rest of the day.  Later on in the week, after I learned about the meal structure, I made a second mistake.  I had noticed that they always served fresh parmesan cheese with the pasta, but promptly removed it from the table after the primo course.  I boldly took it upon myself to save one of the small bowls of cheese to sprinkle on my main dish because I saw we were having a dish with chicken breast and tomatoes.  After I was served and started to sprinkle the savory cheese on my plate only to be interrupted by an Italian girl gasping and asking if I knew what I was doing, from across the table.  Confused, I replied with a simple, “Yes”.  She then smiled, following up her question saying that she just wanted to make sure as she had not seen that before.  I tried to explain that it was similar to having chicken parmesan and she kept giving a rebuttal that the dish was not chicken parmesan, but it was ok if I wanted to have it on my dish.  Realizing the difference in cultures, we called it what it was and laughed it off. 

The conference itself consisted of inspiring speeches from previous volunteers, Salesian Sisters, the founders and coordinators of VIDES, and even the Mother General Yvonne Reugnot and the Rector Major Don Pascual Chávez (who are current heads of the Salesian Order).  The theme of the conference was Recall, Rejoice, Renew and it was created to remind us not only of our roots, but of our chartered direction for the future of the organization.  As Mother Yvonne put it, we are “dwarves standing on the shoulders of giants”; which is to say that we are fortunate to have such a solid foundation laid before us by Don Bosco and Mary Mazzarello and with it we are able to continue to grow, love, and share our gifts.

Time went by too quickly in Trevi and we ended the Conference with in the Cathedral of St. Francis of Assisi, where he was buried.  I felt a special bond to all the other volunteers during that mass; coming from all over the world, speaking a variety of languages, representing our unique cultures but all sharing in the same Catholic tradition and faith.  It was a beautiful realization and it brought me great joy that we didn’t need to know the Italian language to understand the Mass, we each partook in it with our spirit as a united family.

From Assisi, I proceeded to be a good tourist and visit Rome for a week.  I had a quaint little room very close to the Vatican (in fact, I could see the top of St. Peter’s Basilica from the hallway window) and the train station.  At first I thought I would be able to travel to many cities in Italy, but once I started out in Rome, I realized that one could spend years in Rome and still leave many stones unturned and stories untold.  The history, the art, the cathedrals, the food, it was all so much to take in – but I managed. 

I was able to see many of the incredible places that one must experience in Rome: St. Peter’s Square and Basilica, Trevi Fountain, the Coliseum, the Pantheon, the Forum, etc.  Above all though, I was able to see Pope Benedict XVI during his address on a Wednesday – a deeply spiritual experience that I can hardly begin to describe, but also very empowering.  I could write for hours about my time in Rome, but I feel it could just as easily be told through my pictures, though many do not do justice to the subject material.  Nevertheless, enjoy!

Pictures of Rome and Trevi

Recap Part 2: Into the West

I should have expected it, I should have known it was going to happen.  I spent much of the night after the wedding packing and getting ready for my trip out west: first to Phoenix, then Prescott, AZ, then to San Francisco.  My flight left at 6:40 in the morning and I only ended up with about 2 hours of sleep.  As I boarded the plane, I pulled out my notes to practice my speech, but began to nod off.  I woke about an hour later with a sore neck and dry eyes and opted to get some coffee instead of trying to sleep more.  Unfortunately, the airplane-grade coffee wasn’t cutting it for me and I was drifting in and out of sleep.  A bit later on, I arrived in Phoenix and had still not reviewed my notes, but I had all morning to do so.  I just needed to get to the conference first.

With ease (thank God in hindsight…) I made it to the conference center by public transportation, carrying my entire luggage, in time to pick up my packet.  Free coffee and snacks were given out, so I decided to have some breakfast and look at the program schedule to find out where my presentation room was.  As I was finishing up breakfast, I ran into some former classmates from the University of Louisville.  Again, it was refreshing to see familiar faces after being away for some time, so I caught up with them and passed the time.  Looking at my watch, I realized I only had an hour until my session began – and I had still not reviewed my notes.  I hurried to find the room so I could practice and run through my presentation, but was disappointed to find it filled with an ongoing session.  It would end in 30 minutes, so I decided to grab a cup of coffee for the presentation and then come back to review in the presentation room.

Again, my foresight (or maybe just common sense) failed me.  I should have known that a conference with over 10,000 participants trying to get coffee from one Starbucks would be a nightmare.  I stood in line for 20 minutes, then realized that I hadn’t even gone halfway through the line and I was still dragging my bags around.  Frustrated, tired, and hungry – I decided to step outside and walk down to the street to the Einstein Bagel Bros. shop for a cup of coffee instead.  I walked up and down the street to no avail – I know from the map that it should have been right there, but could not find it.  Looking at the time, I gave up and headed back to the meeting room.  Only 10 minutes remained until our session began and my notes remained in the same spot that I had packed them the night before.  I had very successfully wasted many hours without practicing my presentation and I began to realize that it was too late.  

I look so smug, but trust me, I'm just falling asleep.

When the time came to present, I went to the front of the room, loaded my presentation, and opened up with a couple witty jokes.  The crowd laughed light-heartedly which helped ease my tension.  Once the slides came on the full screen, I saw Dr. Evans (my thesis advisor) enter the room and I began to talk.  By the grace of God, the words and information that had been sealed away in my head re-opened and poured out like valuables neatly preserved in a lockbox.  I tried to keep the audience engaged full-time, but some of them were as tired as I was.  By the end of the talk, I noticed I had ended at the time limit and now awaited the QA session – sometimes the easiest part and sometimes the hardest.  Despite my initial concern that I appeared unorganized and scatterbrained, I received very positive feedback and met with some important figures after the talk.  They were impressed and curious as to the future of my work – but those were answers even I did not know.  I was even presented with an opportunity to pursue a PhD at UMass in Boston in Public Policy – though it would have been a 7 year program.  In the end, I earned 2^nd place in the competition, which came with a small monetary prize!  I had a resurgence of thanks in my heart for all the opportunities I’ve been given these recent years, for the people who have helped enable them, and to God for his guidance and answering my prayers.

Following the conference, I was picked up by a very close friend, Kane, who is following his dreams to become a pilot and studying at Embry-Riddle University.  We traveled to Prescott where I was able to witness the tranquility and vastness of the southwest.  From the starry nights to the cloudless days, I felt at peace with the world and the direction of my life.  Though I always wonder where I will end up in the subsequent phases in life, I still strive to feel that comfort and joy in the present moment.  Sometimes, on the road you forget to take time and see what’s around you – but being in Prescott allowed me to do just that.  It feels comforting to know that you have friends who keep that open door policy, no matter the circumstance.

From Prescott, I made one final stop before returning home from out west: San Francisco.  Two other good friends of mine, Michael and Paul, live in the bay area and I had been longing to see them.  It’s interesting how one can visit a friend who they have not seen in quite a while and pick up conversation as if no time had passed.  In the grand scheme of life, not much time had passed, but being away from family and friends can make it feel so.  However, being away from those comforts and loved ones makes the heart grow fonder and stronger.  We had a memorable night at Paul’s house with a home-cooked meal from Golbi, Paul’s girlfriend, and drank home-made wine that Michael made.  We stoked the fire and enjoyed each other’s company until late into the night – and I realized it’s those nights I’ll remember forever, the ones where we are truly alive in the moment.

Recap and Prologue to my New Mission: Part 1

I’ll try to use this post to give a brief update of the past four months: life after service, seeing family and friends, re-entry into America, and my future volunteer plans.  In that time, so many things happened and I have so much to be thankful for – I’ll do my best to share them in an abridged way, but I will apologize ahead of time if I leave out someone or something that should be mentioned.

Leaving the Dominican Republic…

Going from this to 40 degree weather in a matter of days.

With the conclusion of my service in the Dominican Republic, I’ve had a brief hiatus and have used it to rest, relax and see some loved ones.  My last week in the Dominican Republic was spent with a good friend in Caberate, a beautiful coastal town on the north side of the island famous for kite surfing and its beautiful beaches.  It was interesting to see the north side of the island and a great time to relax, but my heart was still in the south – in Barahona. 

After a week of sun, coffee, fresh fruit, kayaking, and relaxation, I was ready to go home and see my family.  Though, a weird feeling was present in me – that longing to see people that you have not seen in a while, but also that feeling that you know things are about to change.  It was a combination of excitement and nervousness – to take my present self with new experiences back to my old life.  What would this combination yield? 

Tranquility

I spent my last nights in Santo Domingo with Anna, who accompanied me in Cuba.  She was such a blessing to me and so very hospitable.  Sleep evaded me during my last night in the Dominican Republic, my thoughts were like a crowded intersection.  Thoughts of the past nine months zoomed by: the people I had met, the experiences I’d had, the sights I’d seen and they were colliding with thoughts about the future: my family, my friends, and what the future may have in store for me.

…and arriving in Louisville, KY...

British Virgin Isles

My flight from Santo Domingo to Puerto Rico to the US went very smoothly, thank God.  However, I immediately realized that it would take some time to readjust to living in a first world country. 

Quick story:  

My second connection was in Charlotte, NC and I had some time to spare.  For some time, I had craved sushi, since it practically does not exist in the Dominican Republic.  Giving into my cravings, I thought that I’d treat myself to a bit at a sushi bar in the airport.  My mouth watered as I walked up and scanned the menu.  The woman next to me had just gotten her Salmon Roll, but was busy on her cell phone.  My stomach gave a small growl and I wondered what I should get.  Not two minutes later, the woman next to me took one bite of her roll, laid cash on the table and walked away.  An idea popped into my head, but I hesitated to take action: Should I take the rest of her food?  She didn’t touch it except for one piece and it was just made.  Plus, it would be a free meal for me…

When I finally made up my mind to scavenge her meal, the waiter took action first, taking the plate and promptly throwing the freshly-made sushi in the trash.  She set a new napkin in place, greeted me with a smile, and asked what I would like to eat.  I smiled back at her, but replied, “Nothing, thanks.  I’m not really that hungry.” 

When I got back to Louisville, I was greeted at the airport with smiles from my family and a happy heart.  Not even the sushi incident could bring my spirits down in this moment.  There was so much to say and so very much to get caught up on.  We spent the rest of the night sharing time, a little wine, and a "puro Cubano".

The guys sharing a "Puro"

My arrival back home did not leave me with too much time to rest – something I didn’t think about ahead of time.  I arrived back the night of October 6^th and had plans to fly to Phoenix on the morning of October 14^th for a presentation – one that I had not yet made.  But all that could wait.  For the time being, I was happy to be home.

Emma and James 

The last couple days leading up to my flight were more hectic than I would have liked them to be.  I rushed to finish my presentation at the last minute for the INFORMS conference in Phoenix, leaving me with a feeling that I was not fully prepared to deliver it.  The day before heading off to Phoenix, I was able to relax and celebrate, as it was the day for two of my good friends, Emma and James, to be married.  The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was festive – a wonderful time was had by all.  The reception gave me a chance to talk with many friends who I had not seen since last January, it was a very refreshing to know that even if I had changed, some things like friendship would always remain the same.

Homecoming

Note: I wrote this article over two months ago and never got around to posting it.  I felt it was long overdue and necessary to post, even if just for myself.  I'll have one more follow up to post in the coming days as well.

Days 213 – 244

It’s hard to believe that 244 days have come and gone since I left for the Dominican Republic in January.  Even though I leave Barahona tomorrow morning, I simply cannot find the time to finish packing my bags.  It seems to me that once I finish packing my bags and collecting my belongings, it’s one step closer to moving on.  It’s hard to clearly state my feelings – I do believe I am ready to return home and am eager to see my family and friends but also have a pang of pain leaving the people here.  

It’s funny how quickly time passes, especially when you’re trying to utilize every passing second.  That’s the realization I felt during my last couple weeks in Barahona.  As eager as I had been to get home and see my family and friends, it was very hard to part from the life I had grown accustomed to for the past eight months.  

September felt like an odd month then whole time, knowing it would be my last month.  Times would pass when I would think of people I had met here – and realize I may not get the chance to say goodbye or see them ever again.  Since it’s an unknown, it’s hard to fathom the latter and wrap your mind around it.  Not only that, but how am I supposed to say goodbye to some people when I knew I still had time left in the country?  I began to realize it was partly my acceptance with the fact I was leaving as much as it was for my acquaintances.  What I mean to say is that it was very difficult for me to pick up and leave so quickly.

As a volunteer, work still went on around me, only I now had to decline a few projects here and there because of time.  It was an odd feeling going from accepting every odd job to evaluating the tasks to determine which I actually had time for.  It didn’t feel right, but just as my thesis adviser said, there comes a point when you have to stop taking on new work and finish what you’ve started.  That’s what I knew I had to do – finish what I started.  The only problem was part of me didn’t want to finish.  After all, this was different from leaving home back in January.  I knew I’d be back at home at some point in the future and could pick up where I left off.  Here, there was the doubt in my mind; the fear that I might not see some of these people ever again.  So I did the best I could with the time I had left and tried to let people know what they meant to me.  This was no easy task for me though as the goodbyes were often emotional and left me drained afterward.  In fact, during one of my last days I had planned to visit the homes of a number of families to say goodbye and had to stop after a few because I was emotionally drained after speaking with them.  

Sor Maria and I

It didn’t help that I was physically tired as well my last week in Barahona.  It just so happened that, with only one week left, I got very sick to the stomach and had to go to the hospital.  I was very low on fluids and got two IVs in the hospital, which helped immensely.  After I got back, I downed some pollo y yucca and went to bed for the rest of the day and night.  It felt good to be able to hold some food down and rest for a while.  It was in this miserable condition that I met Sor Maria, who had worked in Austin, TX for a couple years.  She had the “shoot first (or in this case, help first), ask questions later” type mentality and wasted no time helping when I was sick.  It was a shame that our time together was so short, but I still believe myself to be fortunate for having had the chance to meet her.  

With my time winding down, I feel a complete mixture of feelings: joy to see my family and sadness to have to say goodbye to so many wonderful people.  Excitement to see my friends and a bit of anxiety going back to the culture I grew up in with a fresh set of eyes.  

 
 

Certain questions bounce around in my head: Have I changed? (I believe I have, but for the better?  Has anything back home changed?  Will I find it hard to adjust back to life in the US with all the amenities and commodities?  What will I take with me from this trip?  Will I be missed?  How can I stay in contact with everyone there?  Will Barahona be the same when I return?  The questioning wears me out, I need not find all the answers just yet and I know they will be revealed to me in time.  

In closing, I wish to thank everyone for my time here – too many names to list, but each one has helped shape my story.  This shared experience has opened my eyes and helped me grow in so many different ways.  While this is the end of my mission in Barahona, I will always be there because of the wonderful people who have given me so much joy and so many memories to keep in my heart.  Gracias por todo.